Working late at night with a cup of coffee in my hand, I looked at the clock which blinked 12.40AM, I suddenly had an odd thought: I miss Paul.
Odd because I never thought I would miss him or abruptly think of him while I am rushing through my second-final task for Evian; odd because I should not really miss him in the first place since I have no feelings for him anymore; and odd because I am supposed to be working on my task and leave me with no time to miss anyone or even type this… but I am doing so right now.
Pausing for awhile, I figured maybe it is just an aftermath of constant chat and call thing we had for two weeks; perhaps his leaving back to Canada made me understand that summer is ending sooner than I thought, and I need to gather up my attention towards academic work and part-time job. Though, part of the summer holiday ambience lingers in me. If I have one wish, I would want the semester to start as soon as possible because coming to an end of something and waiting for another thing to begin is really awkward.
Sipped the coffee again, and started to look at the glass container of Cafe Direct’s finest coffee. I remember going through a case study on Cafe Direct and its fair trade policy for extraction of coffee beans from third-world countries in Business Studies class when I was still in Year 12 (Form 6/ Grade 12). Mr Pawlyn showed us an educational film on how companies like Starbucks get coffee beans in unethical way. At that time, I do not like those liver-rotting toxins. After watching that film and writing a report on it, I thought to myself, “I will never drink coffee! Those poor people shouldn’t toil under the sun with below-average pay. They barely have enough to keep them survive. And big coffee businessmen just take in all the profit to create the so-called ‘Starbucks Dream’.”
Paradoxically, here I am drinking the caffeinated drink – saviour to me during these trying times – and thinking, “Mmm this is exactly what I need now. Energy-boosting, high-inducing drink to quench my lower-than-ever self.”
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My brother has passed on his cold to me, I think. My throat hurts and I’m sort of sniffling. I’m drowsy most of the day too… Being sick is one thing, just don’t have another fever. Can’t afford to miss first few days of school and work next week. I’ve meetings to attend, lectures to learn from, students to smile at, and professors to please (with work). Must stay healthy…and most importantly, alive.
