Last night was wicked. The last time the gang played truth or dare was at my place while mom and bro were in Canada, and dad left the house for golf in China for the weekends. Last time, someone scrutinized my floorboards by asking this girl to flush her foot in the toilet when she chose dare; a guy Frenched another dude; I groped and kissed another girl friend. Lovely night… (Not allowed to mention any names at all. Promise made before we played, not even allowed to take pics) Yesterday, though, under the influence of booze the gang decided to do funny things like, “Let’s strip him and make him walk naked in the street!!!” and “Hahahaha You can go down on him!!”. We stayed up feeling groggy and tired, and we looked at each other awkwardly. The night does weird things to people, especially with drinks…
A few hours later, after borrowing my friend’s shower, my parents picked me up for a road-trip to the Mainland. Luckily, I didn’t loose my IDs this time – remembering the time I left my purse and ID at Venue… So yeh, dad asked me take care of my grandma during the whole trip while I settled into a thinking mood which usually means I want to talk about it with a close friend or I want to be left alone and if you try to ask me too many questions I’ll definitely lash out at you. But this is my grandma we’re talking about, so I have to compromise and answered all her questions from “Where’s the toilet?” to “Do you think I’m getting old?”…
She wouldn’t even leave me alone during meal times, actually those were the times she talked to me most: “Amanda, when are you going to take me out on a trip? I want to go to Europe one day.” I haven’t even taken my parents for a trip yet, what makes you think you’ll be the first? I’m not mean, I’m just pragmatic. Besides, I’m not sure you’re the type I wanna hang around with on a trip, there are limits as to how much respect I give you. If I’m rich or when I make enough money, I’ll treat you for a trip but not now. Took my mind of things later on today and focused on shopping. I purchased a skirt and a box of CDs which I will start watching after Desperate Housewives – I’m only on Season 2 Episode 5…
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I remember saying “60%” to Paul and “40%” to myself, these percentages meaning the amount of feelings and attention I will give for him as someone whom I like. After considerable thought this afternoon, I figured I rather be on the safe side and say: “30%” to Paul and “70%” to myself. Being in such an unstable state, I can’t face another letdown so I’ll lower my expectations; but this doesn’t mean I’ll lower my standards. No one can really compromise my standards when it comes to work, relationship and other personal things: it’s just one of my principles, I guess.
Looking back at this summer holiday, I think the most I’ve achieved is doing a part-time job with pay for the first time, and actively participating in an upcoming orientation camp. I didn’t do as much as I expected since my lack of motivation takes up my time. Sometimes I like to procrastinate and leave things till the end. This is one of those things I need to change…
[傻女/寧願你不知道]
